Behavior Change

Are you worried because your child

Seems irritable or has angry outbursts/temper tantrums?
Gets upset or has headaches/ stomachaches/ heart pounding at reminders of injury/ illness?
Startles easily (for example, jumps if there is a sudden noise)?
You've noticed changes in your child's behavior, for example: crying, whining, clinging, or acting out in frustration?

Some behavior changes or physical ailments after an illness/injury come from feeling worried or stressed. These feelings, ailments, and behaviors are common.

How can you help your child through behavior changes?

Be patient with your child

At the hospital, children’s early reactions, including crying, whining, clinging, or acting out, are common and expected in small amounts.
If they happen too often, it’s okay to set rules and limits like you would at home.
Work with the medical team to plan a daily routine so that things are more predictable and familiar.
With teens, remind them it’s okay to be confused, angry, or scared and to talk about their feelings.
Recognize that your teen may want to appear “grown up”, while also feeling afraid and in need of your comfort and support.

Help your child put feelings into words

Sometimes kids show their feelings through their behaviors.
Help your child put feelings into words.
Listen carefully and help your child express frustrations and worries.
When you help your child find words for strong feelings, you give him/her tools for coping.
Describing and understanding his/her reactions is a first step in dealing with them.

Help your child understand how feelings can affect their behavior

Help your child understand how feeling jumpy, tired, stressed or in pain, can lead to angry or irritable behavior.
Set normal limits and consequences for behavior, but also let your child know that you understand that it may be hard right now to control their feelings.
Help them notice when they are starting to get angry or irritated, and suggest that they take some time out to calm down or do something they enjoy.
Talk with your child when they are not experiencing a change in behavior about what they can do to calm down the next time they tart to get angry or irritated (deep breathing, count to ten, go for a walk, talk to someone, etc.)

Set normal limits

You may be tempted to relax the rules in order to help your child feel better, or to make up for the hard times he or she has been experiencing.
However it is often better for your child if you set normal limits on behavior and keep most of your family rules and expectations the same.

Listen to one mom share the perils of holding your children to different standards:

Remind them of their coping skills

You can help your child cope with stress by helping them remember how they coped well with stressful events in the past.

Helpful Resources:

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Pediatric Medical Traumatic Stress

Patient Education

Screening & Assessment

Intervention

Trauma-Informed Care

COVID-19

Resources